Is that too much to ask?

I'm not asking to go back to the same circumstances.
I'm not asking for you to take me back.
I'm not asking to be special to you anymore.
I'm not asking to be in your life in the same way.
I'm not asking for a long conversation the way we used to always talk.
I'm not asking you to think I was "the one that go away."
I'm not asking for answers to "if only's" and "what if's" and "should have's".
I'm not asking to be your friend again (just yet).
I'm not asking you to only think good things about me.
I'm not asking for a final text or voicemail.

I wish I could go back and undo all those silly and hurtful things I did.
I wish I could go back and love you better instead of only loving myself.
But, I can't.


So all I'm asking is that you see, now, that I'm trying my best not to be overcome with hurt, regret, anger, bitterness, fear, jealousy. And though I often flounder and forget how to be kind and loving and gentle and forgiving, I'm asking God to heal you and me so we can one day look at each other with a different type of love & grace.